Wednesday, October 6, 2010

I never felt sooo sad in my whole damn life, now i realised something- i am not the best and never will be. If something changes a little, my whole damn life changes too. I cant take it anymore, yesterday something happened, today something happened again, why does this happens to me? Everytime when this kind of things happens, i try my best, to find confidence again, to continue moving, but this time, i feel tired, i feel that i should just give up and not study forever. I worked sooo hard till now, is because of the smile on my parents and relatives face. Whenever, i get good results, my parents will always smile radiantly, and of course my relatives too. But, whenever i didnt, i could see the disappointment in their eyes, i know how much they want their daughter to have a bright future. but i really want to say, maybe this is my life, i cant get anything right. This year i have been under a lot of pressure- peer pressure, my family and teacher's expectations. however, most likely i will fail to reach their goal for me. now the only thing that is keeping me going is my family- upon knowing about all this, my mum came back and told me its okay and the more she says that the more i felt guilty, but i really tried my best, i study soo hard for this day, but in the end, this is what i get? Tears fall uncontrollably, in my heart, it hurts, a lot. In front of my friends, i do not dare to cry, if not i will keep hearing its okay from them too. In the end, i guess i will not be able to top the school, i think when we get back to school to get our results, i think i will be the one, sitting down emotionless, cos its impossible for me to get 260 and above lerh, i think i will be the worse person ever, even MX may surpass me i think. Sigh, HY, ZQ, wrps is counting on you... break the school record guys, break a leg!~

No comments:

Post a Comment